it’s a strange feeling being alone. living in a world with so many unfamiliar faces staring back. we are really just trying to find that one face to sit across from. share your daily grind over a morning brew. invite some friends over for a family stew. if you only knew about my lonely place.
nobody plans on being alone. it just sorta happens. we grow up with friends and family surrounding us. our school and job become our new group of social belonging. then we move to explore, learn and meet new people. new stories to hear with a little show and tell. we slowly get older with nobody to share our daily journey.
the world is populating so fast with more people everyday, about 7 billion they say. yet, we still feel more alone by becoming another number. we are counted as the forgotten and unseen. the calendar defines our time more than our watches. the page numbers are passing by to fast to count. its’ just that we would like to spend time with someone who will count on us.
i think we all have tried the eating alone routine. i’ve noticed plenty of bloggers making plenty of friends online by sharing their stories of going solo. sitting at the bar of life or at the table seated for two. that empty seat sitting across from you as a constant reminder of being single in a crowded room. will someone be joining you, they ask – no, i answer. i will have no face to look at while i dine.
we cook as solo artists. our food is bought as individual portions. on occasion we buy bulk pretending to have needs. we bring home the groceries and divide out our weekly feeds. we freeze the rest. no diner parties or bbq’s. no birthday bashes or wedding crashes. only one chair gets pulled from the table during the daily grind. during the evening we nudge the chair back into position. tomorrow is a new day.
unfortunately, we become accustomed to our simple existence. we pretend to appreciate the space and extra time. it takes time to make room in our empty life for someone new. months pass of hesitation despite friends and family encouraging the confidence you require to fill a desire. the phones numbers are exchanged and we make the call. the phone ring is silenced when the roommate answers – no, they’re out for a dinner date and probably won’t be home till late.
another night to dine alone as we venture to our favorite feeding zone. laughter fills the room until those smiling faces turn in surprise and noticed your demise. we’ll seat you here, you can look outside or over this way. things have changed since the other day. i recognize the voice from behind and glance in the window to reflect their table. two seated for dinner according to the label. they are surrounded by friends and family providing the comfort. it looks like it’ll be a long date. so, i won’t be out too late. i now can see all those things they have being trying to hide. seating me to see my face really makes this world my lonely place.