january 12 | 2012

is the new beginning …

after a long battle with alzhiemer’s disease my parent passed last november 2011.  that anticipated moment in time also encouraged me to mark a beginning of where i wanted to go in the future. i selected january 12 | 2012. over the past few years i have documented much of my life online through various blogs to create memories for others to read. sometimes reading the stories of how other people are coping will help with your own healing. this post is about those other people who have helped us get through through the last 9 years.

everything begins with accepting the illness. a serious illness like alzheimer’s disease becomes extremely troublesome on family members. other illnesses can occur to the family members. emotional stress is at a staggering high. unfortunately family members without support will drink alcohol or take medication or other toxins to help relieve the stress. personally i was all over the map with emotion and stress. drinking and talking down at the local was the easiest way to ease the pain. but, that is the wrong way. currently, i have created several blogs trying to outline how to help those family members struggling with personal issues.

planning ahead
there truly is nothing more horrendous than trying to plan for the death of a loved one. when that parent or spouse starts to lose the ability to remember and breaks down to cry. you have now idea how heart wrenching that is. you can’t help. i now have memories of someone losing their memories. nobody should have those memories.

i went through several levels of abuse while dealing with a terminal ill parent ranging from bullying, lying, cheating and stealing. abuse from staff, customers, family, friends, workers, healthcare & law enforcement. why anyone would decide to inflict emotional or physical abuse on someone who is suffering is beyond me. this was not a short time of abuse. the problems lasted for many years and still continue today. i also abused myself with various toxins over the years – most notably was alcohol.

i thought the best solution would be for me to try to talk to everybody else whom is going through emotional problems and try to help myself via helping someone else. i don’t know if i made an impact on anybody or not. but, it helped me tolerate the worse issues of abuse.

rant & rave
i started to let off a lot of steam in the new year. i wasn’t going to sit back and take anymore abuse. if someone bullyed me – i called them out on it. if someone lied to me – i called them a lier. if you cheated me – i called you a cheater. if you stole from me – i called you a thief. sadly, most of those people will continue in their ways.

so, i am going to initiate a change cycle starting today. hopefully, those few peole who have listened to my rants and raves will take this opportunity to start their own change. i will set an example for anybody to follow. the 12 month change cycle will be further explained on another posting.

serendipity days
most people don’t like getting preached to – so, i created a cartoon explaining my thought process that would lead up to this date. i tried to include some of those folks who have contributed to my recovery process within the cartoon format. i have not used names or any likeness. those few that i ask to contribute would constantly waver from yes, no or maybe so. they simple didn’t want to be held accountable for initiating a change in their own life. i just wanted to return the help.

thank you
i want to say thank you to the staff & customers whom allowed me to vent while seeking solstice around you. you have helped in more ways than you can imagine. saying thanks is simply not enough. thank you!


About dfmw

design | outdoor | lifestyle
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